Mother's Day 2008

In reflecting on my LONG Mother's Day weekend, I realized I need to trust my "motherly instinct" more. This is how the weekend went: Friday night Brielle started to cough and right before bed we gave her ibuprofen for a fever. She coughed all night. The next day I debated taking her in to the doctor because her cough did not sound good. Nick thought she sounded better and we should wait. (First "motherly instinct" thwarted). She got progressively worse as the day wore on. Before we put her to bed we stood in a hot shower with her, but she still woke up crying an hour later. I thought she felt hot and I asked Nick to check her. He thought she wasn't as hot as the night before so I rocked her to sleep. (Second "motherly instinct" ignored). An hour later she felt even worse, so we gave her medicine and I ended up on the couch with her from 11:00pm- 3:00am. Sunday morning we rushed up to my mom's house to talk to my missionary brother who is serving in the Netherlands. Once my mom listened to Brielle coughing she said we needed to take her in. (Thanks Mom for making the decision!!) So the rest of the morning we looked for pediatric clinics that were open on Sunday. We found one at McKay Dee that could get us in at 12:00, but our church was at 1:00 and the Primary was singing. I was so torn and upset. I wanted to go with Brielle, but I also knew that Emma had been looking forward to singing on the "stage" for Mother's Day. So Nick and I split up. He took her to the doctor and I went to sacrament. This was the highlight of my day. Emma had been singing all morning and she couldn't wait to go up front. She looked so beautiful and grown-up singing with the Primary. She also asked when she gets to do it again (Father's Day). Brielle did end up having croup and a double ear infection, so they gave her antibiotics for her ears and a steroid medication for her lungs. I was grateful for some kind of diagnosis (other than a "virus"), but upset with myself for second-guessing my instincts to take care of her. I have also lost patience with her over these last couple days because she has been extra clingy. Of course, I feel guilty for that, too. Agghhh. All I can say is that my Mother's Day was not exactly what I had planned, but after watching Emma sing to me and Brielle cuddle with me all weekend, I wouldn't trade motherhood for anything.